Somewhere with Katie

Hi readers! Wow, it has actually been forever. I will do my best to catch up on some of what has entailed in the last TWO years in future entries but for the purpose of this initial entry I just want to say that a lot has changed for me. There was a time when I thoroughly enjoyed travel social work and it was something I absolutely craved. The adventure, the rush, the constant moving, the escape from my life back home really.

The last two years I worked in a full time role in San Mateo and I LOVED it. I made the decision to stop traveling in April 2023 because I was tired. This happened after a family tragedy happened and I wanted to be closer to family and friends. It ended up being the best decision I could have made. The job I chose was such a blessing to me. I had amazing management, clients, coworkers, colleagues… it was everything I could have ever wanted.

The job also hit very close to home. The job was surrounding the topic of addiction, a topic close to my heart. Over time and now that I am no longer employed there, I realize how closely tied the position was to my identity. I slept, breathed, ate, dreamt, and talked that job. I thought about it on down time, I talked about it constantly, had dreams and nightmares about it… it became who I was. Part of this was due to the relationships I formed with my clients. Many of my clients I worked with for the entire time I was there – 2 years! Another aspect was constantly wanting to find solutions and yet feeling helpless due to systems set in place in government, etc. that block my clients from reaching their goals.

Although it is a long story about why I ended up resigning from my position there what I will say is that I am paying a “stupid tax” as a consequence of being unable to let go. A stupid tax is a term coined by my very own mama (lol) that refers to a consequence we pay due to making stupid or poor decisions. I did not want to resign, however a series of poor decision making in the course of just one month due to not being able to let go, letting my own decision-making, lack of trust in authority, and inability to empathically disengage really left me with no choice. It absolutely broke my heart having to do so.

So, here I am. I am back to travel social work mainly because it is a super quick area of social work to jump back into with my experience and it gives me time and space to think about what I want (while getting to travel and pay off debt). My assignment is in downtown Los Angeles.

At the same time I am going through a major identity crisis. I don’t think I realized how intertwined my identity of therapist/social worker was with who Katie is. This realization has been startling to me. Truthfully, I feel lost y’all. Very lost. I have so many questions running through my head these days.

Do I want to be a social worker still?
Is there another role for me out there?
If I am not a social worker, who am I?
What do I want?

So, what does this mean for the future of this blog you might ask? Long term I don’t quite know. What I do know is that for now I will be posting about my travels both for work and for fun! Speaking of which, I have a trip to Croatia planned which I leave for NEXT FRIDAY. Good things are happening. I need to remind myself about that when I get ~in my feels~ about all the recent changes.

Hope you are all well.

Warm wishes and hugs from sunny Los Angeles, California ☀️